Seperation
by Le Luverly Zero
Summary: **DISCONTINUED** Kouji's been caught cutting and his father decides that a change of environment will solve any problem. When Kouji is sent to live with some distant aunt, how will he and his brother deal?
1. Going Away

Bound: Ok this is going to be my first attempt at a multi-chapter story. I think I can do it!

Warnings: Possible shounen ai, cutting

Disclaimer: don't own digimon

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"I'm gonna be late..." Kouichi said as he ran towards his brothers house. They were suppose to have met up an hour ago but he had fallen asleep doing homework. His only thoughts right now were 'Please don't be mad, Please don't be mad.' Though he knew the younger twin wouldn't be. He finally saw his brother's house and picked up the pace, heading in without knocking. Toeing off his shoes he headed up the stairs right away. Kouji's dad and stepmom were away for the weekend so the younger twin was the only one home.

" Kouji?" he called out lightly. " Kouji are you here?" Even when it was just his brother here it was never this quiet. He was in front of his brothers door and he still couldn't hear anything.

" Sthh..." a hissing sound was all that could be heard coming from the room.

" Kouji," he knocked on the door once, "Are you okay? I'm coming in."

He could here shuffling around as he opened the door to see his brothers room. With nothing wrong. 'What..?' Other than a box shoved haphazardly under the bed nothing was out of normal. " Kouji?"

"Sorry 'Nii-san, I was just putting something up."

" Are you sure you're okay...I thought I heard something?"

" It's nothing, I'm sorry I worried you. No lets go," He grabbed Kouichi's arm, " The others are probably waiting for us."

" O..okay." The older boy just let himself get pulled along. He didn't notice the little bit of blood at the end of Kouji's shirt, nor the way he winced when he accidently hit it on the door frame. And he definitely didn't notice the flash of red lines against pale skin when the youngers sleeve rolled up for a second.

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Later he wished he had noticed. This was horrible. He sat next to his brother at their fathers house waiting for some Aunt he had never known to come. Kouji...Kouji had been doing those things to himself awnd he hadn't even noticed. And know they were taking him away. Apparently his stepmother has caught him with a knife one day, and that had been that. In the end their father decided that Kouji needed a change of inviroment, if he went somewhere else obviously what was bothering him wouldn't be anymore, right?

Kouichi didn't agree. He felt a prickling behind his eyes to wipe away forming tears, catching the attention of his brother. The younger turned towards him and grabbed the hand from his face, holding it in is own.

" Don't worry 'Nii-san, its not like you can't come visit me on weekends. And we can still talk to eachother over the phone, or the internet." Kouji seemed to think that his main reason for being depressed was that they were going to be seperated. Don't get the wrong idea, it did make him sad but what was worse...how could he not have noticed? He and Kouji spent all the time they could together and he hadn't even suspected. If anything he had seemed happier...What kind of brother did that make him?

He barely noticed when their aunt arrived and his goodbye was said half-mindedly. And with a promise to call later, his brother was gone.

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Kouji fell back onto his new bed with a sigh. How had he been so careless as to get caught? 'Well this is just great?' Was his thought as he rolled up his sleeve to stare at his left arm. With another sigh he let his arm fall and closed his eyes. 'Sorry Kouichi...I'll have to call you tomorrow.' The sound of his door opening was now the only thing keeping him awake.

" Kouji, dear, won't you join your Uncle, Ken and I for dinner?"

" No thanks Aunt Ichijouji."

" Don't be silly dear, just Rika is fine. Well I'll just let you get your sleep then, goodnight."

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Bound: End Chapter 1. I can't belive I'm actually going to attempt a multi-chaptered story. Ok so incase you didn't catch at the end, Kouji has moved in with Ken Ichijouji and his family. Ken's mom is the twins aunt. If anyone knows his parents' names please tell me. Well, I guess we'll see how it plays out... Next chapter Kouji starts his new school and Kouichi has to explain his brothers sudden move.

Bound: oh and...please review!


	2. First Morning

Bound: Um here's chapter two...I guess there really isn't anything to say... Thanks to Trenchcoatgirl-Kyo for reviewing. One review is all the motivation I need to update.

Warnings: Cutting, Possible shounen ai in the future

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon

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The twins first morning apart started quite differently. Kouichi went through all his usuall morning routines a bit more sluggishly than usual. The idea of not seeing his brother later making him feel depressed. Kouji on the other hand slept in and when he did finally get up didn't even realise where he was until he was getting ready to meet his brother. The sadness that he had been too stubborn to acknowledge last night returned. Kouichi was back in Shibuya and he was in Odaiba.

Kouichi wasn't fairing much better. They wouldn't be able to see eachother for atleast a couple more weeks and Kouji still hadn't called him like he promised. Could Kouji have already settled in so soon? Would he really be happier in another town away from everything he knew?

" Kouichi, you're going to be late for school."

" I'm leaving now mom, thanks!"

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Kouji reached into the hidden pocket of his backpack and pulled out a small pocket knife. This was the only thing his father hadn't managed to find when he was going through his sons stuff. Flipping it open he felt his muscles starting to relax already. What was everyone so worried about? He wasn't trying to kill himself, all he did was make the pain go away.

He pulled up his sleeve to make another addition to his growing collection but stopped before he could put enough pressure. That wouldn't be a good idea, his aunt would be checking to make sure he wasn't doing anything. Pulling down his sleeve he instead opted for right around his ankle. It seemed to be the best place, his aunt wouldn't check there and it would be covered by both his socks and his pants. He applied pressure and pulled the blade across his skin. The only sound he made was a slight hissing noise, he would have to get use to this new kind of sting.

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" Hey Kouichi!" Izumi waved, " Over here!" Everyone usually met by the gate and he was always the last one to get there.

" Hi everyone," a fake smile plastered on his face. It would be worse if everyone was worried.

" Kouichi, whats up with Kouji? He's never this late." The goggle head of the group asked. It was expected though since he had been best friends with the younger twin. Lucky for Kouichi though the bell rang and saved him from answering.

" Bye," was the only thing he said as he took off for his first period class.

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" Kouji, are you in there? I want you to come out and meet your cousin. He's going to help you register because I need to go to work."

" In a second Aunt Rika!" Putting his pocket knife securely back in place, he made sure there was no evidence of his activities and opened the door. "I'm ready to go Aunt Rika."

" Good, good. Ken!" The woman called out to her son, and Kouji was suprised when he walked through the door. Just from looking he could tell they were related. The had the same color of hair, and the same dark eyes. But his cousins eyes, they were more like Kouichi's.

" Nice to meet you, I'm Ichijouji Ken." The other boy bowed.

" Minamoto Kouji, " He did the same.

" Now boys no need to be so formal, you're family. Better get going so you won't be late." She gave them both a gental push out the door. "Have a good first day Kouji!"

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Bound: Okay so I didn't really go as far as I wanted to, but that's because I am really bad with long chapters. Plus I know my writing can be boring so best not to load a whole bunch on you at one time, right? Well please review!

Next chapter (hopefully): Kouichi gets confronted by Izumi and Takuya, Kouji meets all of Ken's friends, the twins finally call eachother.


	3. School Starts

Bound: Right...this so did not take me hours to write because I was procrasinating... Thanks to all reviewers.

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon, though I did recently reclaim my copy of the movie.

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"Does your mom always have this much energy in the morning?" That was the first question he had for Ken. Morning person, he was not and he didn't know if he could put up with that without going insane. His Aunt Rika seemed okay so far, but he seriously hoped that was a one time thing.

" You have no idea, I think she went easy on you." Ken gave a small smile of understanding.

" Mmm, thats great," this was said without hiding his sarcasm. Any of his friends knew he was not fully awake until atleast 10. Kouichi was the morning one, not him. His 'Nii-san wasn't bad about it though, he just woke up and went about his own business. " Anything else I should know?" He didn't care that he was being slightly rude considering they had just met but if they were going to live together his cousin would learn eventually.

" I think you'll be okay on your own," his cousin waved his hands towards the school gate. " If you'd like I'll introduce you to everyone before I drop you off at the office." Kouji looked towards the group Ken had waved to, two boys and two girls, they seemed decent enough. The one with the goggles reminded him oddly of Takuya though. An annoyig voice broke his chain of thoughts. Oh yeah another Takuya.

" Hey Ken, how was your weekend? Who's that creepy girl walking behind you? Oh wait thats a guy! Couldn't tell with the long hair, sorry man." Scratch that. This one was worse than Takuya.

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Kimura Kouichi had to have been the only kid to be wishing that the bell wouldn't ring. While everyone else in his class was waiting to go to lunch he was desperatly thinking of a way to avoid his friends. ' What's the point? No one can avoid a determined Takuya.' He glance at the clock again, 5 more minutes. With an unaudible groan he slid down in is seat. This wasn't good. What was he suppose to say? " Oh, Kouji? He went suicidal, may I take a message?"

And that wasn't all that was plaguing his mind. How was his brother? Was he settling in? Did something happen, is that why he hadn't called? The dark haired boy felt ready to bang is head against the desk. Luckily(or unfortunately, depending who you are) he was interupted by the bell. Sounds of chairs scraping against the floor and soon Kouichi was the only one left in the classroom. Slowly he got up from his seat. He wanted to avoid this for as long as possible.

" Kouji, what do I do?"

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" So here's your schedule and a school map. Sorry that no one is available to walk you around." The secretary glanced at the clock. " You've been in here awhile so just head to your fourth period class and after that you have lunch. Will you be able to find everything okay?"

" I'll be fine, thank you miss." Walking out of the office with the map in hand he went to find his locker first. If he was only going to make it to half of his classes he wasn't going to carry a whole bunch of crap around. He forgot that walking and reading- not a good combination. Looking up he was suprised to see one of his cousins friends, Takeru.

"Takaishi, wasn't it? Sorry." This one hadn't been near as bad as the goggle-head and the one with the glasses. He hadn't really said anything at all. Kouji got the feeling that he wasn't so good of friends with his cousin as the others.

" Don't worry about it, and just call me Takeru, or TK." He took the map out of Kouji's hand. "I have a study period, I can show you to your class."

Kouji just muttered a 'whatever.' His fourth period class was something called floral design. They'd only put him in there because it had the room, but atleast it counted as an art credit. He'd rather mess around with flowers than attempt to draw anything, his stick figures could scare anyone.

" Almost there." Damn, he had wanted to go to his locker first. " Sorry about Daisuke this morning. He's just like that, and I think you got on his badside."

" Really, I hadn't noticed." Apparently the blonde didn't notice is sarcasm.

" Well that comment about ' goggle-headed idiots' seemed to have pissed him off," he laughed. Or, maybe he had noticed. Kouji turned to study the blonde for the first time since this morning.

" There seemed to be some hostility towards you as well." He commented.

" Yeah, Daisuke has had this big crush on Kari ( the short haird one if Kouji remembered right) since elementary school. He thinks I do too and since me and Kari have been best friends since we were really young he hates me." The blonde stopped in front of a door, " Here you are for," he glanced at the schedule " floral design. Fun."

" I'm estatic I assure you." The other boy gave a small laugh.

" I'll see you at lunch Kouji."

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"KOUICHI! OVER HERE!" Takuya was standing up and yelling from the groups usual lunch spot. So much for trying to go unnoticed. The boy gave a sigh and headed over to his friends watching as Izumi beat up on Takuya for being so loud. Kouichi nervously sat down between Junpei and Izumi with a shaky 'Hello.'

" Kouichi something wrong?" Izumi asked.

" Yeah you left pretty fast this morning." Junpei said, as always backing up his crush.

" I'm fine, I just needed to talk to my first period teacher." He hoped they didn't notice his small wince. He hated having to lie to his friends. He tried to avoid conversation by eating his lunch and luckily Izumi had Takuya distracted. Not for long though, because the question he had been avoiding finally came up.

" So where's Kouji?"

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Bound: So I didn't quite get around to everything I was hoping too, but all in all I'm satisfied with this chapter. It focused a little more on Kouji but right now he's the one going through the most change. Please review!

Next chapter (hopefully): Kouichi has to think of something to tell everyone in Shibuya, Ken learns why Kouji moved to Odaiba, Twins contact eachother(I think I'm subconciously putting this off...)


	4. Breakdown and Contact

Bound: this chapter came fairly easy though i could just be saying that since i'm half-asleep

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. in furture chapters i will not be putting a disclaimer. i think by now we all know i don't own it.

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" Where's Kouji?" Kouichi echoed Takuya's question. Kouji's gone. He'd had that thought many times but saying it, saying it would make it real. Telling someone 'Kouji's gone' would mean he really was gone. He'd thought that he had been taking it pretty well but the brunt of the shock must just be hitting him. He could feel himself start to get shaking and dropped his head into his hand.

" Kouichi! Whats wrong?" Izumi didn't know what else to do, so she just rested her hand on his back. Kouichi was usually calm in front of people, and she didn't know how to comfort the boy. " You guys!" She hissed to the others, "Are you even going to try to help?" Junpei moved to Kouichi's ther side and put his hand on ther smaller guys shoulder.

"It'll be okay, Kouichi." The bigger boy felt awkward. Usually he used tricks to cheer people up but he had a feeling Izumi would get mad at him if he tried that now.

" Seriously, you're freaking me out."

"Takuya!"

" Sorry, well what do you want me to say?" They started to go back in forth and their voices drowned out the darker haired boy's.

" He's gone," Kouichi whispered. " He left me and Shibuya, and he isn't coming back." Junpei gave a start at these words. He was the only one paying attention to the boy right now and was suprised at what he heard. When he turned his head back to the boy he was zoning bad. It would be awhile before he was back to Earth. Ignoring the bickering teens in front of him, he stood up and grabbed Kouichi's arm.

" Up you go," he pulled him up. " You don't look so good, let's go to the infirmary." Kouichi was to spaced to do anything but nod and follow his friend along. When Izumi and Takuya finally quieted down they were suprised to find that the others were gone. Takuya looked dumbfounded, and Izumi looked pissed that Takuya had distracted her.

"Where...?

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Kouji sighed as the bell for lunch finally rang. He could see why the class had so little people. How many people do you know who go " Flower arrangements? Yipee!" He would take stick figures over that class any day. The first thing he did when he got out of class was look for his locker, he wasn't going to carry around a whole bunch of stuff he didn't need. Let's see...73...79...84...92. There it is.

" Hi, you're Ken's cousin right?" Kouji turned around to see the other less annoying friend. She looked over his shoulder to the piece of paper he was holding. " Oh, it looks like we're locker buddies. Here," she pushed him out of the way gently and opened the locker. "I'll clear some space for you."

As she moved her stuff to one part of the locker Kouji looked at the images on the door. There were a lot of group images of the Ken, his friends and another younger boy. She also had some pictures with an older group of kids that also included Takeru.

"All done," she turned around and smiled. "Oh, did you want to put something up?" She moved to make more room but was stopped by Kouji's voice.

"No," he thought of the latest group picture he had taken with his friends and brother. Back in Shibuya one had been in his locker but now it would just remind him more that he had been seperated. " No I'm good." He set the stuff he didn't need in the locker and shut the door.

" Let's go, the others are probably waiting for us."

" Sure..."

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Kouichi rolled over onto his side. He was in the school infirmary, the nurse hadn't wanted him to chance walking home so he had to wait until school was out and a friend could do it. He had been in there for awhile and felt somewhat better, not as exhausted. He let out a small groan as he thought. He'd had a breakdown in front of everyone. He didn't think it would be so hard to tell everyone. To come up with some excuse and say "Kouji's gone, but I'm sure he'll come back in a few months."

But would he? Their father hadn't known how long he was shipping Kouji off for. He hadn't thought about anything, not his other sons feelings, how his sons friends might react. He had immediately decided he couldn't deal with Kouji and then given him to some stranger Aunt who neither of them had met before. He rolled over again and let his hand fall off the bed to his bag.He rummaged for his phone and checked for mail.

Nothing. Kouichi spared a glance to the clock, still half and hour to go. Fingers moving quick will experience from late night messaging, he mailed his brother.

Kouji? How are you? 

What else could he say? His brother had told him he would be fine, he couldn't tell him what had happened. And ' I miss you, come back' was not the first thing he wanted to tell Kouji. Maybe their dad was right, and some time away would help him. That didn't mean he had to like it.

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"...pages 147 and 148. Go ahead and work quietly together." Math. Kouji was okay with math, this could work for him.

" Let's work together?" A voice called lightly to Kouji.

The dark haired boy looked up to see a girl with light colored hair and glasses. Yolei. Darting his eyes around quickly he realized that no other of the few people he knew were in this class. He looked up at her again and gave a grim nod of his head. Atleast she looked smart. Kouji was okay with math, but that didn't mean he was good at it.

"So, Kouji how long are you going to live with our Ken?" Kouji was prepared to give a short answer to her question when he felt his cellphone go off. Silently of course.

" Just a second," he said reaching into his pocket.

" Mail? Oh don't worry I'll cover for you!" She nodded her head in agreement with her self.

Checking where the teacher was (at her desk ignoring the students) he flipped open his phone to see a message from his brother. Kouichi...he felt a slight pang of guilt followed by a longer one of longing. (AN: um not like that, twincest doesn't bother me but i don't think i could right it) He had yet to contact his brother, and since they had come back from the digital world they hadn't been apart for more than a few hours. It had been almost a full day since they had seen eachother and Kouji was starting to feel the effects too.

'Nii-san, I'm fine. It's not so bad up here. 

He didn't want his brother to know how bad he missed him. Nor that even though he was here to stop, he had already added new marks to his collection. He closed his phone and replaced it in his pocket. Looking back at the teacher to make sure he hadn't got caught, he was starting to think she didn't really care what happened in class.

"Who was that?" The girl next to him asked. Her tone slightly dampened when she asked her next question, " Was it your girlfriend back home?" Just to see if it would get her to leave him alone he replied like he did.

" Yeah, she just wanted to say she misses me."

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Bound: End chapter four. Had to make Kouji be a little mean towards the end, Yolei kind of annoys me. I know I said last chapter that I was going to have Ken find out abou thte cutting but I changed my mind. Please tell me what you think of this chapter.

Next chapter(hopefully): A phone call, a visit and a shrink.


	5. Sleeping

Bound: Ok let's see how this goes. Oh and Kylie I so dedicate this chapter to you! You've become like a muse to me. You're such a good friend! If you want a disclaimer go back a chapter, nothings changed.

Disclaimer: still have to do this for something else though. I do not own The Body of Christoper Creed

Warning(s): Mild swearing, but I think thats it

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"...So tomorrow at five? Okay we'll see you then, thanks for being able to get us in so quick." There was a click as Rika hung up the phone. The people at that office were so nice, she was sure her nephew would appreciate it. She looked down at the paper she had written on. " Dr. Kamiya, huh?"

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Kouichi was looking through the pictures on his phone when he got the alert of a new message. He didn't go straight to it though, when he realised what picture he was on. It was one Izumi had taken of them when she had forgotten her phone and borrowed his. Last summer they had all gone camping together and he and Kouji had fallend asleep leaning into eachother. His brother hadn't liked the fact that Izumi had taken it, but Kouichi kept it anyways. He gave a small smile at that while he exited out.

'Nii-san, I'm fine. It's not so bad up here. 

The dark haired boy was kind of hurt by his brothers comment. Some small part of him wanted Kouji to be miserable that they weren't together anymore. He knew it was wrong but he wanted to know that he wasn't the only one of them suffering because of this. He scrolled down back to his own message. He was being hyprocritcal. He hadn't exactly told his brother anything to say that he was unhappy with the way things were either.

I miss you. 

Kouichi didn't even acknowledge that he'd given in to that until the sent button was pressed.

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Kouji and Yolei were working silently together when Kouichi's next message arrived. He wasn't sure he wanted to chance checking it again in class. He looked back up at the teacher who was now prowling the aisles; no definitely didn't want to chance it. His cellphone felt heavy in his pocket, knowing his brother's message was so close but he couldn't even read it.

Trying to distract himself he turned back to his work. Glancing at the problem he bit back a groan. The only reason he had made it to trig was Kouichi, and without said boy he was hopeless. Biting his lip he read the problem again before giving up and asking his partner. His girlfriend comment had stopped her being nosy, but thankfully she didn't take it so bad that she would withhold answers from him.

"Hey, how do you get the answer to 43a?" It hurt his pride to ask for help but he would give up his pride if it meant not failing.

"17, you just add these to things together," she pointed at his text book.

"Thanks."

The last few minutes of class passed quickly. Kouji was out of the classroom and quickly headed to his next destination, the gym. He had seen that on his way in...'Oh shit' he stopped his movements. There was no way he would be able to go through gym without someone noticing his collection. On the other hand he couldn't skip class on his first day without his aunt knowing. 'This could be bad.'

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The clock was ticking painfully away in the infirmary. It had been over half an hour and his brother had yet to reply to him. Kouichi sat up and slid his phone back into a pocket of his bag. In a few minutes school would be out and his friends would show up to walk him home. He let out a shaky sigh. He didn't want to explain what had happened. Right now the only thing Kouichi wanted to do was go home and sleep.

Just a few more minutes...the dark haired boy looked up in suprise when the door opened early. The bell hadn't gone off yet, had it? He tried to brace himself for the onslaught of questions that was bound to come. Any second now it would start. Or maybe it wouldn't; he looked up.

"Junpei?" He didn't see anyone else, just the bigger kid.

"I showed up early, hope you don't mind. I figured you wouldn't want to put up with the others right now. Are you ready to go?"

"Um, yeah. Thanks."

"No problem. I, uh, I heard what you said at lunch. And I know you probably don't want to talk about it so I won't ask if you don't want me to."

Kouichi nodded his head and started towards the door. If they left now there would be a pretty good chance of avoiding their friends. Junpei followed in silence and thats how their entire walk was. Down the street from Kouichi's house they parted with a wave, and Junpei watched as his smaller friend walked to his house.

" What's going on?" He said to himself with no one there to answer. Turning around he headed to his own place.

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Kouji thanked some sort of god as he was saved from the hell that would have been known as gym. The teacher was laid back and lazy, he didn't feel like dealing with a new student that day. His only words to the long-haired boy had been 'Here's your pass, go to the library.' The school map was once again in front of him as he tried to navigate back to his locker. The hallways were mostly empty and he didn't have to worry about bumping into anyone this time.

He was good with directions though, and it wasn't that hard to get to his destination. He was in and out of his locker soon, and the library was close by. He figured he would look through his books for the classes he hadn't gotten to yet, and see what he was getting into. Opening the doors to the library the first thing he noticed was that it wasn't as big as the one at his old school. Kouji liked books so this was kind of disappointing to him.

'Oh well,' the dark haired boy didn't feel like thinking at the moment. Looking for a place to sit he noticed his cousin alone at a corner desk. Shrugging to himself he headed that way and took a place at the opposite end as his cousin.

"Hey," he said.

"Hello," his cousin replied. But that was all he said and the two sat in a comfortable silence.

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As soon as Kouichi got home he flopped onto his bed with a sigh. If it meant never having to face his friends again he would sleep forever. He lay with his eyes closed for only a few minutes before giving up on that idea. He had been so tired earlier but as soon as he layed down he felt wide awake again. Kouichi sat up and grabbed a book from his desk before settling down again.

The Body of Christopher Creed by Carol Plum-Ucci. Kouji had given it to him to read a couple of weeks ago but he hadn't started it yet. He turned it around and read the back with mild interest. "I wish no malice on anyone. I only wish to be gone." Thats what the letter on the back said. He stopped reading at this point. I wish no malice on anyone, I only wish to be gone. He fell alseep thinking now that Kouji was gone that wouldn't be so bad.

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"Kouji...Kouji." A voice called out to him. "Kouji, wake up." A hand gently shook his shoulder. Starting to pry open his eyes the dark haired boy realised he must have fallen asleep. Looking up to see who had woken him he thought he saw his brother. He was about to let out a whispered 'Kouichi' when he fully woke up. He wasn't back home, and he certainly wasn't with his twin.

"Sorry." He stood up and glanced towards the clock. How was it that the bell hadn't woken him up a few minutes ago?

"It's okay, let's get going. I have soccer practice so I hope you don't mind waiting. Mom doesn't walking home by yourself yet."

"Whatever, I don't mind." This was said before he realised the worst thing. Arriving at the field his cousin waved to someone, and a pair of goggles started coming toward them.

"Hey Ken!" Oh hell no. Kouji was not going to put up with that goggle-for-brains right now. He quickly spotted an area to hang out until practice was over there and left with a quick 'see ya' to Ken. He sat down to sit it out, and the first thing he did was bring out his phone. He had fallen asleep in the library before he had gotten around to replying to his brother. Just as he was flipping it open he was interuppted by a someone calling his name.

The field was right by the parking lot, and he could see his Aunt Rika waving him over. Grabbing his stuff he lightly jogged to where she was. He didn't really care why she was there, just that now he wouldn't have to sit through his cousin's soccer practice. Ken was okay, but that Daisuke kid would find someway to drive him insane, he knew.

"Hey, kid. How was your first day?"

"It was okay." It sucked. I want to see Kouichi.

"Did you make any friends?"

"I met a couple of people." I'd rather talk to Takuya and the others.

"That's good," she turned to the car. "Come on let's go for a ride."

"Okay Aunt Rika." Take me home.

"Actually, Kouji there was something I wanted to tell you about." Getting into the car they both got settled before she continued. "I got you an appointment with a psychiatrist."

5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5

Bound: Well hope you enjoyed. Oh and The Body of Christopher Creed, you should read it. Good book.

Next chapter(hopefully): I don't know, I'm too tired to think.


	6. Lowe and Lo

Bound: So good job Kylie for knowing who Kouji's shrink is...of course its not really that hard since I was talking to you whilst I was writing the chapter. Updates will be coming slower due to my recent addiction to DDR and school starting. Sorry that this update came so late...

Warnings: cutting, slight swearing...

6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6

Laying there staring at the ceiling. Kouichi had woken up over an hour ago but hadn't moved to get anything done. He was waiting for his brother, to call or to mail him. Anything. It had been hours and no reply. The black haired boy was out of it, he didn't even notice when his mother came home and called out to him. When she peeked into his dimly lit room he just pretended to go to sleep. He didn't want to tell her either, he was pretty sure his father hadn't.

He turned to the cellphone laying beside him with perfect timing. He grabbed it as soon as it lit up, before it even started ringing, eager to answer it. Pulling it closer to his face his hope was dashed when he saw the flashing name 'Takuya.' He debated not answering but what was the point? Even if he didn't he couldn't avoid his goggle-headed friend for long. 'Here goes nothing...' Kouichi flipped open his phone.

"Mochi Mochi"

6.6.6.6.6.6.

Kouiji gripped the side of his seat mulling over what his aunt had just told him. A psychiatrist? He wasn't crazy, he didn't need to see psychiatrist. What did she think she was doing? She wasn't his parent, she couldn't do this to him! The dark haired boy quickly bit his lip to keep from spouting out his anger. He didn't need to yell at her about this. As soon as they got back to the Ichijouji's he could relieve him self from stress a different way. Taking a deep breath he tried not to sound angry when he spoke up?

" My dad was ok with this?" Kouji's dad had gotten rid of him so he wouldn't have to be reminded that he hadn't been the best of father's. He sure as hell wouldn't want to receive a bill from the mental doctor.

" Not yet but I'm sure it will be fine. It's whats best for you after all." Rika said this all with a smile. " It's tomorrow at five so come straight home and change out of your uniform, ok?"

Kouji just nodded his head, he wasn't sure he trusted his voice at this point. It was what was best for him? He'd known this woman for two days and she was telling him what was best for him? He reached over with his right hand to squeeze his left arm. Feeling the stinging pain from the irritated cuts he felt himself relax a little. How could they think that what he was doing was bad when it made him feel so much better?

The rest of the ride was silent. Well more like the rest of the ride Kouji was silent. Rika didn't seem to care that the boy wasn't replying to her and just kept chatting along. The teenager was thankful when they arrived at their destination and wasted no time in heading up to his room. His quick excuse of first day catch-up work settled well enough with her.

Closing the door to his room he threw his bag down and grabbed his knife from its hiding place. He let out a sigh as he sat on the floor with his back against the bed. He hadn't been sure he would make it the whole ride without blowing up. He rolled up his pant leg and took of his sock. Here there was only the lone mark he had made earlier that day. Bringing the sharp object down to his ankle he wasted no time in creating another, and another. He watched the blood flow from the four new marks he had added and felt his body relax completely.

Kouji watched his foot until the bleeding stopped. Cleaning off his leg with a discarded article of clothing, he felt better than he had since leaving Shibuya. Shibuya...shit, Kouchi! He had forgotten about Kouichi's message. He stuck his hand in his pocket to dig out his cell and felt nothing. 'Crap, crap where is it?' He stood up and gave himself the full pat down and checked his bag. It must have fallen out someone.

The youger twin let out a groan. This was just his luck.

6.6.6.6.6.6.

At the same time Kouichi was doing the same thing. He was really bad at lying, Kouji was going to hate him when he heard about this. When Takuya had asked about Kouji he had just let loose some random story. He was lucky it was Takuya who had called because anyone else would have known he was just babbling. As far as everyone would know, Takuya would manage to let loose to everyone, Kouji had gone into a special soccer program so that he could get the skills to beat their brown haired friend.

Somehow he had managed to damage his brothers pride and boost Takuya's ego in one punch. Now that took talent. Well better he was going to go around saying 'Kouji left because he couldn't beat me,' than 'Kouji left because he probably hates us all and wants to kill himself.' Actually now that he looked at it that way he felt a little bit better. That was until he remembered he would have to tell his brother or else major confusion would arise when he got called by his friends.

He still hadn't gotten a reply from his last message but he sent another anyways. The next couple of hours he spent finishing his homework but after that he picked up the book he had been looking at earlier. Opening to the first page, he was determined not to let anything distract him. That plan was ruined when five sentances into the first page somethine jumped on him, hard.

"Lowe, come on pleasse get off of me?"

His cat gave a meow in response. One that meant 'No and you can't do anything to stop me, just try.' On their last birthday the twins had both gotten eachother pets. Kouichi had given his brother an american eskimo puppy, and had received a black kitten. They had both decided to name them after their respective warriors, and took good care of them. He actually hadn't been sure if Kouji would appreciate having an animal to care for, but he had bonded with Lobomon quickly.

A thought crossed him then. When Kouji left, Lo hadn't been with him.

6.6.6.6.6.6.

Another knock on Kouji's door. He had been keeping to himself the majority of his time and hadn't left the room since he got home. By now he had given up looking for his cell phone, he would search the school lost and found tomorrow. Hoisting himself off the bed, he made sure none of his collection was showing before opening the door.

" Kouji your dad just called. He said you forgot something, he's offering to bring it to you. He says if you don't want it he'll just throw it away." His aunt Rika was holding the phone to her chest looking kind of confused. " What his it that you forgot, dear?" Kouji was confused for a second as well before it hit him. Lo...he had been moved out in such a hurry he hadn't even thought about what would happen to Lo.

" Aunt Rika, how do you feel about dogs?"

6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6

Bound: So thats the end of chapter six. I'm thinking I'll try to do one more before school starts, which is Tuesday. After that It will probably be once every week, or week and a half. Also to the one with the initials E.E. The others are fine but I'd like you to stop with this one, I'll inform you if I ever change my mind. Sorry.

Next chapter(hopefully): Kouji finds his cellphone and calls Kouichi. That is the only thing because I for sure want that to happen! Seriously if that doesn't happen in the next chapter I want you all to slap me!


	7. Fight

Bound: So...Just wrote chapter six...yeah...dududududu...maybe you should just skip straight to the story, if you haven't already.

Warnings: the usual

7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.

"Dogs?" Rika asked. "I suppose so, I haven't been around many so I don't know."

" Aunt Rika, when I came here I left my puppy. And Dad hates him. Can he stay here with me?" He really cared for Lo, and not only that. Kouichi did too. If his father got rid of him both of them would be very sad.

" I don't know Kouji, I'm not sure we're equipped to handle a dog here." She looked almost unwilling to say yes. Kouji realised she might want to see how her family would feel first but that wouldn't work. He had no doubt that his father wouldn't wait that long.

"Aunt Rika please. I've been taking care of him by myself anyways, and he's well behaved. If he can't come here Dad will take him to the pound." This was as close to begging as Kouji would ever get. But he did more, squashing the last of his pride he actually made puppy eyes. He could seriously feel his testosterone level drop as he did this but it was for Lo. His aunt seemed to be able to sense that he wouldn't normally do this kind of thing.

" Well you do seem like you're responsible enough, and...well your father really would take him to the pound, I believe it. Your puppy can come up here."

As his aunt pulled the phone from her chest and began to talk to his father he let loose a small smile. He wondered briefly if he should tell her that his 'puppy' was a sizeable husky who was evergrowing. He looked up at her as she spoke into the phone. Maybe not. He glanced at the clock, it was getting late but he didn't want to go to bed until he knew what was going on.

" Well," Rika started as she hung up the phone. "Your father says he'll be taking tomorrow off from work to drive the dog up here."

" Thanks." He was grateful and all but his male ego had been damaged enough for one night. He turned around to go back to his room, his bed was beckoning him.

"One second, dear." The woman turned around and grabbed something from the counter. " You must have dropped this earlier today."

She opened her palm to reveal his cellphone.

7.7.7.7.7.7.

Kouichi had just drifted off when his cellphone rang. He really didn't want to get up to answer it, and made no move to. Not until it kept ringing and ringing. He let out a small groan as he fell out of bed and just barely managed to make it to where his phone was. Grabbing it he brought it close to his face so that his tired eyes could make out who was calling him so late.

'Kouji' flashed on the screen and in a second his eyes widened and he started to smile. He wasted no time in opening the phone and giving the usual greeting. For a second there was silence. Almost three days since they had seen eachother and now that they were finally on the phone they both seemed at a loss for words.

"Kouji"

"Kouichi"

"I'm sorry," they both said at the same time.

" 'Nii-san..."

Hearing his younger brothers voice Kouichi kind of just let loose all that had happened. He told him about his breakdown at school and how much he hadn't wanted to worry him. He told him how he was panicked for Lo, knowing how much their father hated that dog. And after that he told him what he had blabbed to Takuya. He could almost see his brother wince at those words.

"I'm really sorry Kouji, I couldn't think of anything better to tell him."

" It's okay 'Nii-san. I know you hate lying but you did it for me anyways, thank you."

"Kouji...Kouji why are you sorry?"

"I didn't respond to your message all day and I waited until now to call you...I'm so sorry Kouichi. I...I really miss you. I hope I can come back soon."

7.7.7.7.7.7.

He did too. It really wasn't that bad here but unless his brother was here it wasn't the same. After they had first met, back in the train station when they came back. He had almost lost his older brother that time, and he never wanted to experience that again.

"Kouji...when can you come back. When your better?" That comment took Kouji by suprise.

" What do you mean 'better' ?"

"When you stop...doing that. It's really dangerous Kouji. I'm worried about you."

" 'Nii-san, do you think I'm crazy too?"

" I don't think your crazy Kouji, I would never think that. It scares me what your doing, what if you accidently go to far?"

"That won't happen. Don't you trust me 'Nii-san?"

"Kouji...what if you do though? What if you accidently cut too deep? Or in the wrong place?"

" What does it matter? It's my body that would be taking the damage not yours. I have to go, goodnight 'Nii-san."

Kouji hung up his phone quickly, and tossed it across the room. How could his brother? How could he say that? The dark haired boy seethed in anger for a moment before he realised what he'd done. Finally he had the chance to talk to his 'Nii-san and he had snapped. He sunk down to the floor and sat with his head between his knees. His hand around his ankle, he raked his nails across his collection until his new wounds opened again.

7.7.7.7.7.7.

"Kouji..." The older twin whispered as he listened to the ring tone for a moment. "Whats going on with you, Kouji?"

'How come I can't help you?' He layed back down on his bed. He tried for several minutes to sleep but thoughts of his brother plagued his mind. Getting up, he headed for the bathroom. Opening the cabinet it only took a moment for him to find what he needed. Reaching his hand in he grabbed a bottle of strong sleeping pills. Of an on he suffered boughts of insomnia, though he hadn't needed these in quite awhile.

Twisting off the cap he poured some into his hand. One of these would could easily knock someone out but Kouichi grabbed two. He wanted to sleep hard, without waking up. He wanted to sleep until things were back to how they were supposed to be. Until Kouji was back to normal. No that didn't even matter as much. Just until Kouji was back period would work.

The next morning when his mom went to wake him up she opted to let him sleep. Even in his slumber he looked distressed and she didn't want to be worrying about her oldest son all day. Leaning down she gave a small kiss on his forehead before going out the door. 'I know, I'll have Kouji over! He always knows how to cheer Kouichi up!' As she thought about it though, she realized she hadn't seen her younger son in a couple of days. That was odd...

7.7.7.7.7.7.

Kouji woke up to the sound of his alarm blaring but made no move to turn it off. Blinking his eyes awake, he knew from the way he felt he had fallen asleep in that awkward position. Getting up slowly he heard several places in his body give a satisfying crack. Not allowing his mind to drift he went about his morning routine with a numb mind. He didn't want to think about the night before.

Instead he chose to focus on the busy day ahead. First he would have all his classes today, not to mention he would have to find someway to avoid gym. His father was coming to bring him Lo, he wanted Lo but he did not want to see his father. And worst of all it was off to the loony doctor for him. The only good thing about his schedule was that it left very little time for him to think about anything else.

7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.7.

Bound: Okay... it's like five in the morning and I am exhausted. Please review...well when I finally put this up that is. Right now your not even reading this. Because its not up, so your not there. Does that mean I'm talking to myself?...Must be. Bed, yes bed would be a good idea right now. Goodnight all...even though your not there.

Next chapter(hopefully): (bound: -too busy sleeping to think of anything- )


	8. To Odaiba

Bound: so uh...I'm sorry? I meant to get this done sooner, I really did... but don't worry, Kylie has already punished me for being late on this. See Kylie! I wrote it just like I promised!

Warnings: the usual I guess

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the books mentioned in this chapter

8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.

Kouichi woke up sometime around noon. He didn't care that he had missed school, all he could think about was Kouji. How was is that when they finally spoke to eachother, it was to fight? They hadn't gotten in a serious fight since back in the digiworld. Yawning, he rolled off the bed and headed into the kitchen. On the fridge was a not from his mom but he didn't read it. Thinking about it, he realized he wasn't hungry either.

He opted instead to take a shower and get ready for the day. Though it looked like he wouldn't be doing much. It was when he got out of the shower that the thought to head to his father's house it him. He quickly pulled on some clothes, grabbed his cell and went out the door. The twins had only lived a few blocks away from eachother so it didn't take long to get there, especially at the pace Kouichi was going.

He stopped at the end of the driveway as he saw his father coming out the door. In his hand was a leash and behind him, a sad Lo. The man headed towards the car and opened the backseat door. He picked up the dog and practically threw him into the vehicle, slamming the door and ignoring the animals whimpering. The older twin knew their father had never liked the dog but he hadn't thought he would be so mean to him.

"Dad?" He hestintly called out? His father looked startled for a second and looked alarmed.

"Kouichi, what are you doing here?" Though no longer alarmed he was still tense. Kouji's father was always awkward around his other son. Because of this Kouichi gernerally referred to him as Kouichi's father instead of calling him dad.

"Where are you taking Lo?"

"I'm giving Kouji his stupid mutt back."

"You...you're going to see Kouji?" He let his head drop for a second before looking back up with determination. "I'm coming with you."

"What? No you're not. You shouldn't even be here. Don't you have school or something?"

Kouichi let his head drop again, and his voice fell in volume.

"Dad, please. I need to see Kouji."

The man hesitated for a moment. That long of a car ride with his older son would be uncomfortable. He knew even if he tried he would never be able to care for this boy as he did Kouji. He had decided that when he had split with the boys' mom. Looking at the boy in front of him, he noticed the distraught look on his face. This boy, his son, and his other son. They were close, perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to take the older twin with him.

"Get in the car." Were the only words from him as he slid into the drivers seat and started up the car. Kouichi moved into the back with Lo and let a small smile pass on his face as he whispered a 'thank you.'

"We're going to Kouji, Lo." The dog gave a bark of excitement and licked Kouichi's cheek.

8.8.8.8.8.8.

Kouji gave a light groan as he entered the gym. This could be a problem. So far he had managed to float through most of his day in a zombified state but it wouldn't work for this class. He body moved slowly while he tried to think of an excuse to not participate. He only had a couple of minutes before class started. Nothing he could think seemed like it was work, his mind was just to tired.

With on minute left Kouji left the gym. 'Screw it.' He headed to the library like the day before. He didn't head straight to the desk where is cousin sat and headed first towards books. His new english teacher had given him a reading list and while he had already read most of the books, he figured he should start on it anyways. It was all classical literature, and not much of it seemed appealing at the moment. His eyes stopped on Great Tales and Poems by Edgar Allen Poe.

He had already finished that, but his teacher didn't know that. Grabbing the book of the shelf, checked it out and then headed towards his cousin. Ken didn't question why he was in the library instead of class and they once again fell into a comfortable silence. With only ten minutes left tell the end of class, Kouji gave up with concentrating with a sigh. He'd been reading a few short stories, but when he's gotten to The House of Usher he had to stop.

"Why did you come here?"

"Wha?" Kouji's head snapped up.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be invasive. But why did you come here?"

"Gym is the bane of my existent." He said this sarcastically.

"Thats not what I meant." But he had a small smile on his face. "Why did you come to Odaiba."

"It doesn't have anything to do with you." He said his words harshly in hopes of throwing Ken off, but most off them were drowned out by the sound of the bell ringing. Both of them gathering their stuff together they went outside to the field. Daisuke waved them over but they were stopped from leaving when a different voice called out to them. Stopping and listening Kouji hoped he wasn't wrong. Turning around slowly he looked in the direction of the parking lot.

"Kouji!" Kouichi was there, next to their aunt. And next to him was Lo.

"'Nii-san?" Kouji whispered?

Ken turned is head towards is cousin. 'Nii-san?

8.8.8.8.8.8.

It was close to three when Kouichi and his father finally arrived in Odaiba. The ride had been mostly silent. Kouichi and Lo had both fallen asleep in the backseat, and the older man was not one for music. Kouichi slowly roused from his sleep as the car came to a permanent stop. He lightly pushed his brother's dog off of him, and stepped out of the car. He didn't get a good look at Kouji's new residence before he was pulled into a hug by a woman who came bouncing out of the door.

Pulling back so that he could breathe, he stumbled back into the car. He didn't bother asking who it was since the woman was now hugging his father. Turning around he let the american eskimo out of the car. He was still small, maybe half grown. Not quite a puppy anymore though they still callled him one. Lobomon started ran around the driveway for a second before jumping on Kouichi. He could relate to the dog, being in a car that long was horrible.

"Kouichi, its so nice to see again. We didn't have to chance to introduce ourselves last time. I'm your Aunt Rika!"

"It's very nice to meet you." He gave a slight bow of his head.

"No need to be so polite dear, we're all family here. Oh this must be Kouichi's dog." Turning to Lo, she let him sniff her hand before she pet him. "He's a bit bigger than I was under the impressiono that he would be.

"Rika, let's get this over with. Where's my son."

"Now, now no need to get so worked up. He's still at school, I was just going to pick him up." She turned to the younger boy, "Kouichi, would you like to come with me?"

"Yes, please."

"It's all settled then, Lee, why don't you wait inside for us. Ok? Bye." Not giving her brother time to protest, the woman shoved Kouichi towards her car. "Come on doggy you can come too." Within seconds they were off towards the school. Sitting quietly all Kouichi could wonder was if she was always like this. It probably drove his brother insane but Kouichi liked his aunt so far. Her upbeat attitude was great to be around, and she seemed fun enough.

"Sorry about shoving you around like that, but I wanted to go get your brother before anything else happens. That man can just be so irratating sometimes, yes?""I guess so," Kouichi shrugged. "How long does it to get to the school?"

"Oh, only a couple of minutes. Kouji will probably be really happy to see you."

"I don't know," was the boys only answer and the rest of the short ride was silent.

When they pulled into the parking lot his bad mood was quickly dispersed. From here he could see his brother walking with another boy. Kouji, he was here. They were in the same place for the first time in days. Getting out of the car with Lo, he headed towards the beginning of the field before calling out.

"Kouji!" He waved. He didn't notice when his aunt came to stand beside him. "Kouji!"

His brother looked over but he was too far away to tell what kind of expression he wore. He could see his brother hesitate for only a second before heading over to him.

8.8.8.8.8.8.

"Woah, did you know he had a clone?" Daisuke asked Ken.

"A twin you mean? No..."

8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.

Bound: So end of chapter eight. Oh and to answer a question that more than one person had for me, yes they have been to the digital world in this story. I mean Kouji and Kouichi did name their pets lobomon and lowemon. It's just Lo and Lowe for short. The digital world just isn't going to be a big part of the story, so far -if at all.


	9. A Not so Happy Reunion

Bound: So yeah I decided to write another chapter, and weigh the response to see wether or not I finish. It used to be that I didn't care if I got reviews or not but I don't want to continue with a story that no one is reading.

9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.

In the few seconds that it took for Kouji to reach his brother, so many thoughts were going through Kouichi's head. He had been so impulsive about coming to see Kouji. The other boy was so mad at him the other night...had he really been wrong for worrying? Maybe Kouji was right and he should just leave it alone. Standing next to Lo there was a sudden pain in his hand.

"Ow!" Lo as if sensing is thoughts was staring at him. 'You must be worried about him too...' Leaning next to the animal he let out a whisper. "Don't worry, Lo. I wan let us loose Kouji." He patted the the dog's head softly.

"Kouichi..." His head snapped up.

"Kouji..."

9.9.9.9.9.9.

"You live with the guy and you didn't know there were two of them? Wow and you guys say I'm oblivious!" Daisuke slapped Ken's back, laughing.

"Daisuke, just because Kouji lives with us doesn't mean his brother does." Ken said this in his special 'Daisuke is an idiot and we must talk slow and clear for him' voice.

"Huh? But that doesn't make any sense." ...Which apparently didn't work all too well.

"Why not?"

Neither of thim had noticed Takeru standing next too Ken. He had turned away from his friends and was watching the twins across the field. Daisuke muttered and oops and was about to say something more before Ken elbowed him in the side. Matt was on tour nowdays so they hardly ever saw eachother. Even before that they had been living in seperate homes so Tk didn't often like being reminded of his brother.

9.9.9.9.9.9.

Kouichi stood up and faced his brother. Kouji's hand reached towards his brothers arm...but any moment they were about to have was completely ruined. Just as he was about to grab hold of his brother Kouji was tackled by Lo and licked to death. Well not to death, but if Rika hadn't pulled the dog of he probably wouldn't still be here. Laughing the boys' aunt pulled the excited dog aside.

"Come now puppy, let's give the boys' their space ok?" A small bark came in agreement." Come to car when you're ready. Lee is waiting to take Kouichi home so not too long now!"

" Nii-san..." The younger twin bowed his head down. He didn't want Kouichi to see the look on his face. He reached out and grabbed onto his arm tightly. "What are you doing here?"

" I, I wanted to check on you Kouji...are you going to stay mad at me?"

"Go home, Kouichi." He said this quietly.

"What? Kou-"

"I said go home!" He said it louder this time

"Kouji I told you I don't think you're crazy I'm just worried about you. Why wont't you talk to me. Brother?" His words caused the younger to look up, because there were tears in his voice.

"Kouichi...leave please. I can't stop just because you want me too. It helps me so much, do you understand 'Nii-san? I would be dead by now if I didn't have this release. What can I do to make everyone understand that?"

"Can't I help you? Can't I do anything for you?"

"No"

"I...I see... bye then Kouji." He gave a weak smile and turned towards the car. He told his aunt Kouji was staying a little longer and they headed back to where the kids' dad was waiting. The whole ride he didn't speak a word, but Rika couldn't help but glance worridly at him from time to time.

9.9.9.9.9.9.

"Sorry 'Nii-san, lately all I seem to do his hurt you..." Reaching down Kouji raked his fingernails over his ankle harshly, feeling old wounds reopen. " But if we're not together, I can't do that."

9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.9.

Bound: Ok so that probably wasn't the best thing I've ever written. And um honestly? Did anyone besides my friend Kylie think they were gonna be all brotherly-love with eachother? Oh no much more angst to come mwuahahaha!...I think Lucifelle is rubbing off on me...


	10. I'm Sorry!

Bound: I'm horrible, 7 faves to this and 15 alerts, and I still never update. I just wanted to say that no matter what I will have a new chapter up this week.

Lucifelle: She forgot to mention your going to get even more pissed because this isn't even a real chapter, just some stupid poem she wrote.

Bound: I'm really sorry

Disclaimer: If you sure me all you'll get is my I love yaoi bag and a couple of peanuts

_Let me go_

**No**

_This isn't right_

**But you like it**

_We shouldn't be doing this_

**But it feels s good**

_I hate what you do to me_

**You love me**

_I hate you_

**Only because I make you feel good**

_No_

**Yes**

Bound: I just thought that since I wanted to tell everyone sorry I might as well put something else up as well.

Lucifelle: It makes her feel less guilty.

Bound: The italics are Kouji and the bold is Kouichi, its just a short poem based off of a weird dream I had. Which may eventually form into its own story once I finish this….


	11. Appointment

Bound: Egasp! An actual chapter? Why yes, yes it is. I'm sorry for not updating for so many months. I got busy with life…..and just a little lazy. But at the moment I'm visiting my cousin and slightly bored. This chapter is mainly about Kouji's experience at the psychiatrist.

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon.

10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.10.

Kouichi and his father drove back in complete silence. The man dropped his son off at his house, but the boy didn't say a goodbye. His body felt numb. Kouichi felt as though he barely had the strength to stand. The dejected boy walked through his house in auto mode and shut himself in the safety of his room. It was only when he had sunk to sitting with his back to the door that he let tears streak silently down his face.

'What's happening to us, brother?'

10.10.10.10.10.10.

Kouji's aunt returned to pick him up half an hour after she left. The boy had been able to dodge the questions from his cousin the other boy had practice. He hoped his Aunt would just leave things be. After all, she was already forcing him to see a doctor. Kouji wasn't sure if he could keep from snapping at her.

The ride to the psychiatrist's office was tense. Rika tried to clear the air by chatting about nonsense, mentioning briefly that Lo seemed to like his new home. The somber boy already irate boy found himself getting more frustrated listening to her so did his best to block her voice out.

Rika seemed to get the point. She had a teenage son, after all. There had been a time when Ken had almost reached the point her nephew was at. The woman took a moment to silently thank the boy's friends. The rest of the drive was spent with the noises of a busy street as the only sound.

They arrived at the building at 4:45pm. Kouji followed his aunt wordlessly, a small frown on his face. The office they entered was small and cold feeling. Five chairs sat on either side of the area, which was more like a wide hallway. He chose to sit down across from a middle age woman and her toddler while his aunt checked them in at the front desk.

"Kouji," she called to him softly. He took his time looking up from his shoes, and saw that that his new guardian's hands were holding out a small stack of papers to him.

"You need to fill these out before you get called in. No wonder they wanted us to get here so early."

She gave a tentative smile before sitting next to him and pulling a book out of her purse. Kouji glanced at the small stack handed to him. The first paper listed his rights as a patient, information about doctor-patient privilege, and so on. He skimmed through it briefly before signing and dating it. The next one was patient information; age, sex, medications. Shouldn't they know that already?

At the bottom of the stack was a survey. He went through it quickly, circling from one to five on each of the questions. Low to high, how does this make you feel? The questions made him want to roll his eyes. Stupid scenarios were written out. At the end of each one they would ask him how he would feel in that situation. Did it really matter?

Kouji handed them to Rika when he was finished, and slumped back into his seat. 4:58pm, they'd barely been there 15 minutes and he was already tempted to walk out the door. His aunt patted him on the shoulder when she returned.

"Just a few more minutes, sweetie."

She had just finished taking her seat when a young man, around 30 years of age, approached them with a smile on his face. He had wild brown hair that looked as if it hadn't been combed in months, and warm brown eyes.

"You must be Kouji." He said in a relaxed voice. The young boy just thoughtfully quirked his eyebrow at him, the man wasn't very professional. He continued on unhindered. "I'm Dr. Kamiya; it's good to meet you. And you must be Mrs. Ichijouji." He shook hands with the woman.

"We're pleased to meet you Doctor." Rika answered for both of them.

"Why don't you come back with me Kouji, and maybe the three of us will talk later? "

"Mn." The dark haired boy followed the man as we walked to the hallway left of the reception desk and opened another door.

Dr. Kamiya's office had a simple set up. A desk facing one wall, a couch was opposite the door under a window, and close to it on the third wall was an overstuffed chair. Next to the door was a shelf that was filled with board games. Candyland, Chutes and Latter's, and other games he hadn't played since grade school were stacked messily on the shelves.

Kouji went for the chair, not comfortable with the idea of having to lie on a couch in front of a stranger. His hands started to pick at the ends of his sleeve while the man sat down on the couch. Kouji's eyes darted back and forth between the door and the man nervously.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. " The doctor chuckled. "So to start off, I'm Dr. Tai Kamiya. You can just call me Tai, Dr. Tai or Dr. Kamiya. Whichever you prefer is fine. It's important that you know I'm here to help you. If you feel pressured you can stop whenever you want. Nothing you say will ever leave this room. Unless I think you are going to hurt yourself or someone else, because at that time I'm obligated to inform your guardian."

The boy scoffed at that. Wasn't the whole reason he was here because he was "hurting himself."

"Today I just want to ask you some questions, get to know you a little. Nothing big, okay?" No response.

"You just recently moved in with your aunt, right?"

"Yeah."

"And why did you do that?"

"My dad thought I would stop doing 'it' if I had a change of scenery." He gave an especially hard tug on the loose threads of his sleeve.

"By 'it' you mean cutting," A nod from Kouji. "Did you want to move?"

"No. I wanted to be near Kouichi."

"Kouichi would be?"

"My brother, he's my twin brother." Another hard pull.

Kamiya glanced at Kouji's hands.

"Are you doing that because you're nervous?"

"I'm not nervous, I'm pissed." The boy glared up at the doctor. "I don't need to be here."

Kouji refused to answer any more questions and the sat in silence for the next few minutes.

"Well," Tai said, "why don't you switch places with your aunt for now, and I'll talk to you….let's say, next week?"

"Whatever, "he shrugged.

10.10.10.10.10.10.

When the twin's mother returned home late she locked the doors, took off her coat, and went to check on her son. Usually he was still awake and they would chat a little about their days before going to sleep.

"Kouichi," She whispered as she rapped lightly on his door. "You awake, honey?"

She opened the door and peeked her head through to see her son passed out on top of his bed. She shook her head lightly, and went to cover him. Standing over him, she petted his hair affectionately. Hopefully he would feel better soon. It hurt her to see one of her sons so distressed.

"Goodnight, Kouichi."

She didn't see the bottle of sleeping pills that was missing a few too many as she left his room.

"Sweet dreams."


	12. Idle Chatter is Good for the Heart

Bound: I know, I know...I promised this sooner. I have no excuses. You can thank this chapter on my newest story ( a Twilight/KH crossover) because I felt bad for getting so into that and leaving this hanging.

Warnings: mild swearing, but come on Kouji is an angry teen so that shouldn't be a surprise.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. If I did Junpei would get way more attention. I love that kid!

..11

The next morning Kouichi woke up feeling sore and tired. Even hours of sleep did nothing to rest his mind, and he had dreamed of Kouji all night long. A furry lump beside his head licked his cheek as if to comfort him. He let out a sigh and turned to glance at his alarm clock. He should be getting out of bed but he didn't feel the need. He didn't feel like do anything. He'd been staring at the ceiling for five minutes when his mom came in.

"Kouichi?" She called lightly as she opened his door.

"I'm up, mom."

"Are you okay, hon? You don't look too good."

"I'm fine." He did his best to muster up a weak smile for her. "I just didn't sleep well."

"Hmm, you seemed completely out when I got home. Maybe we should talk to your doctor about trying something new."

He forced himself to sit up and swing his legs over the bed. His hand went absentmindedly to pet Lowe as he addressed his mother.

"I'm really okay. I just had a nightmare is all." The middle aged woman moved into the room and sat on the bed next to her son. She stared at him with worry, they both knew that there was hardly such a thing as 'just a nightmare' when it came to Kouichi. Ever since he had returned from the digital world (just out of the blue for his unknowing guardian) he'd been plagued with horrible dreams of darkness whenever he closed his eyes.

"Won't you tell me whats wrong? You seem so down these last few days."

It was Kouichi's turn to stare, only this time with shock.

"You mean Dad didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"He sent Kouji to live with Aunt Rika."

"Your father did what?!" She tried to keep her voice calm, but the woman was obviously furious. Her anger deflated in seconds as she took in her oldest son's expression. "Oh, Kouichi!" She pulled him to her chest and spent a few minutes just trying to comfort him.

"Stay home today." Her voice was firm. He opened his mouth to disagree with her but then closed it. He honestly didn't want to leave his bed today, it was better not to look a gift horse in the mouth. He nodded mutely, looking down at Lowe instead of at his mother.

"Things will be alright." She patted his head. "I have to go to work, I'll be home as soon as I can." Tomoko Kimura left home wishing for two things. The first is that she could stay with her son. The second is that by some will of god her ex-husband would have a very unfortunate accident.

It was hours later when Kouichi was stirred from his sleep by an annoying vibrating noise. He blindly reached for his cell phone and opened his eyes slowly. Three new text messages. He flipped it open and stared at the tiny clock. School would of just let out. He opened to first message.

'Are you coming to school today? - Junpei' Sent right before homeroom. Next message.

'Kouichi, you're freaking me out. -Junpei' This one was at lunch. Last message.

'I'm coming over -Junpei'

Even though he really didn't want to talk to anyone a small smile broke out on his face. It was nice to know that his over-eager friend was worried about him. Often times Junpei was the only one besides his brother he felt comfortable around. The larger boy understood that he felt awkward during conversations and was content to just sit quietly with him while the others joked around.

With some effort Kouichi got out of bed and went about what was usually his morning routine; got dressed, washed his face, brushed his teeth and so on. He was a clean creature by habit and he felt gross after having slept for so many hours. He looked towards to the shower with longing, biting back another sigh when he realized he didn't have time to take one.

.11.11

Kouji irritably took a deep breath, trying to calm down. He hadn't said a word the night before after his time with Dr. Kamiya. His aunt had taken it all in stride and went about business as usual. Ken, on the other hand, had been eying him all day. The twin knew his cousin wouldn't be able to hold back his questions much longer.

At the moment he was sitting on his bed in his room, pretending to read a worn out copy of 'Wuthering Heights' that he had found in the living room. Generally it wasn't his type of book but it made for a good distraction. He took a moment to glance out his open door , and then down at Lo who was sleeping happily in front of it.

Leaving his door open had not been a choice of his own. Rika had tried to be subtle about it and had made it clear that she would be more comfortable if he left it open while he was awake. He whistled lightly, calling Lo to him. The dog lifted his head and turned happily to its master. With a excited yip he jumped onto the bed, automatically rolling onto his back and exposing his stomach. Kouji chuckled lightly and patted the dog a few times before resuming his lounging position, now with Lo's head resting on his leg.

His arm moved on its own to the cell phone he kept by his pillow. He flipped it open and debated with himself over calling Kouichi. Even after the other day he still wanted to talk to his brother. Kouji told himself that what he was doing was for the best, but that didn't erase the close bond the twins had.

'God damn it!'

He threw his cellphone across the room. It made a sizable noise before falling harmlessly to the ground. Rika appeared in the doorway before he had time to blink.

"Are you okay, Kouji?"

"M'fine."

"What was that noise just now?"

He lifted his arm and pointed to the phone before letting it fall lifelessly against his chest.

"Kouji," her tone was scolding. "I'd very much appreciate it if you didn't abuse this house. Or your phone." She added the last part pointedly.

"Sorry."

"Now, why don't you go wash up. Dinner will be ready soon. Ken's nice friend Takeru is staying as well."

He nodded in a dejected fashion and the woman turned to leave.

"You know," she threw over her shoulder as an afterthought. "I bet he would forgive you."

.11.11

Kouichi was roused from his thoughts by a persistent knocking on the front door. He sat up to quick and stumbled into the table, jabbing his hip painfully.

"Ow, ow, ow," he mumbled, clutching the spot with his hand as he hurried towards the door.

"You don't look so good." Were the first words that escaped the blond boy's mouth. He failed in trying to glare back at him. He moved out of the way in a silent invitation.

"You didn't answer any of my messages."

"I was sleeping."

"All day?" Junpei's eyebrow was raised in a skeptical manner. He looked over his smaller friend for a moment before continuing. "Never mind, don't answer that."

The two teens wasted time the way they would have if both twins had been present. The watched a little tv, made idle chatter about what was going on at school, occasionally reminisced about good times they'd had in the digital world. Before Kouichi noticed almost three hours had passed and it was time for Junpei to head home.

"You didn't ask me about whats going on." It was both a question and a statement.

"Nah, thats not what you need right now. See you tomorrow." With a smile and a wave the bulky teen headed on his way. He didn't catch the whispered 'Thank you.'

..11

Bound: So I took a break from torturing Kouichi. I'm in too good of a mood to write angst right now. Haha, I can't remember any of what I wanted to say, so I guess I'll just ask you to please review!


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